Friday, May 20, 2011


What those of us NOT taken
have to deal with.
According to a lot of people who don't realize that this is predicted to happen about once a generation, the Rapture will be taking place tomorrow. Now while some people will look at the Rapture with religious significance, I have a different take on it. I see the Rapture as the time that certain people are taken to heaven while the rest of us have to deal guessed it, the living dead. Will this happen tomorrow? No. I don't think so, but isn't it better to be prepared?

That said, if you are unsure of your moral and religious perfection it may be time to locate your crowbar. Personally, I will be spending tomorrow engaging in drunken revelry with a sword strapped to my side, a knife on my hip and a bludgeoning object within grabbing distance, just in case.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

CDC Plans

CDC's Zombie Outbreak Plan
Hello future survivors. I know it's been quite some time since we've had our last lecture, but I have been extremely busy. I return to you today with what I consider to be extremely worrying news. As we all know, after the zombies appear we can't place much reliance on the government. Zombie survival inevitably ends up in an every man for himself atmosphere. Your odds can, of course, be improved by teaming up with people with complimentary skills, but you are still, basically, on your own.

The worrying news is that the Center for Disease Control actually has a plan for a zombie outbreak. Do NOT let this news lull you into a false sense of security. They will not save you. What the CDC WILL do is treat it like any other disease, forgetting the fact that the Z Plague will actively try to spread itself by killing people.

The actual plan from the CDC Website:
If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It's likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated.
How is this in any way acceptable?  Where is the mobilization of the military? Where is the plans to distribute effective weapons and ammunition to the populace? Why is there no mention of evacuation plans?

My point is this, do not count on the government to save you come the Zombie Apocalypse. Make sure you have your plan prepared. Know where you're going. Know who you're going with. Be prepared my friends. Be safe. Stay alive.

Read the CDC plan for yourself at the official CDC website.
Edit: The CDC website has been going up an down all day, most likely due to the heavy traffic it is receiving.